Thankful .... More or Less

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving...at least that's what the calendar says.  

Even though tomorrow is designated the official day to be thankful, if we are honest about it, some days it's difficult to be thankful regardless of what the calendar says, especially since our materialistic society often measures reasons to be thankful by how many things we have acquired.  It seems the more we have, the more thankful we are, and the less we have, the less thankful we are...that is, until we get more.  Then, we're more thankful.

But when is "more" enough? 

I'm in a season where less is more and I'm being taught to appreciate the daily bread God provides. It's not a comfortable place because I keep longing for more so that I can have enough to not only meet my needs but, well...do a little bit...more.

It seems no matter what blessing comes my way, something else rises up right behind it and I end up with just enough to take care of the unexpected issue, but nothing more.  

Before some of you begin musing like Job's friends over what I have or haven't done, I don't believe my actions are the driving force behind the season I'm in.  I tithe, give offerings, worship faithfully, study pray, etc. etc., and "have kept all these things since my youth."  I even "gave all I had for the poor" (Matthew 19:20-21) when I gave up a high-paying job to minister and work in a neighborhood where people were hurting and in turn, hurting each other to the extent that it had been tagged, "Murder Row."

The reason for my season is that God is refining me for further use.  Words like "refining" sound so noble and unassuming, until we really stop to think about the real meaning.  To refine something means to subject it to a rigorous process that will draw out all of the impurities.  The finished product is outstanding, but it's not a day at the park for the subject of the refinement process.

I guess it was inevitable that I would enter into the refiner's fire since my name, Karen, means "pure." Any purity in me is certainly not inherent and therefore, could only be attained through refinement.

So, since less is what I have more of these days, I'm learning to be more thankful for less.  I am thankful that I had a successful in-and-out surgical procedure to remove a benign cyst that was near my breast tissue. Although it was benign, there is a strong history of breast cancer in my family, and having the cyst removed is one less thing to worry about, and therefore one more thing to be thankful for.

Since losing my job due to downsizing, I have had much less income, but I have had far more time than I ever would have had-- time that enabled me to do things like nurse my ailing mom back to health.  Last year at this time she was critically ill and had to move in with my family so I could care for her. This year, she is back in her own home and healthier than ever -- one less person in my home, but much more praise and thanksgiving for my mom's restored health.

I'm not sure how long my refinement process will last, but, one thing's for sure--I certainly have less time to be in it than when I began!  And, now that I have recognized it for what it is and learned to stop resisting it, I am becoming more of who God made me and less of who I thought I was or needed to be. For that, I am truly thankful. 

Happy Thanksgiving and BNcouraged!

Rev. Karen