Some women believe the notion that "all men are dogs." Those who believe the statement is true either believe it because they accept what they have been taught to believe about men, or have come to that conclusion based on their own bad experiences.
Although I have had my share of bad experiences, I am glad to say that I know that all men are not dogs. However, there certainly are those who are guilty of treating others like dogs. In such cases, the question that comes to my mind is, how did these individuals come to behave that way? Or, in other words, "Who let the dogs out?"
My contention is that we are not born treating others as less than human, but somewhere along the way, some of us receive the wrong training, sometimes from the very people that wind up being mistreated.
Women, some of us fall right into the trap of raising our daughters and spoiling our sons, sending the wrong message to both of them. As a result, some girls grow up thinking that women are supposed to shoulder all of the responsibility for caring for the family and the boys grow up thinking it's alright for a man to be passive or detached.
Many of our sons are hurt by not having a father around, but also when they don't have a solid example from their mothers about how a real man is expected to treat a woman. If they see a string of men in and out of their mothers' lives, it's no surprise that they end up in and out of other women's lives. How will they ever build the stamina to stay true to anyone if they've never seen it demonstrated or specifically taught?
God tells us that "He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord." We need to be teaching our children that truth -- our sons as well as our daughters. Some of the drama that people experience in relationships comes from the fact that too many boys grow up thinking only about being boyfriends, not husbands, and girls grow up not preparing to be a wife, but preparing to settle for boyfriends instead of holding out for husbands.
A boy-friend is not necessarily looking for a wife, but is often seeking a play-mate--because that's what boys do, they play. Only a man that knows he is a husband will search for a wife, and when he seeks he will find his "good thing." When women allow themselves to be play-mates, men are taught to believe that it's alright to be play-ers.
When we dress deliberately provacatively and send the message that our best assets are...well...our "assets," we should not be offended when the men come looking for the advertised special and show no interest or respect for our heart or mind. Ladies, if we really want to help control the pet population, we just need to put away the dog whistles and they'll stop coming our way!
A Godly man that is searching for a Godly help-mate will look for her in certain places. That means that a Godly woman needs to be in the right place to be found. If we don't want the dogs pawing at our "kibbles and bits", we would do best to stay away from the dog food aisle. If we don't want to be played, we should stay as far away as possible from the aisles filled with toys and games.
We also need to hold out for a man to seek our hand from our heavenly Father. That can only happen if the man has his own relationship with God, which is a must if he is to serve as the covering God expects him to be.
Six years ago on June 25, I was blessed of the Lord to be united in holy matrimony to Kendrick E. Curry, a man of God who knew I was his "good thing" not based on what he saw with his physical eyes, but because of what God revealed to his spiritual eyes.
I am so thankful that we decided to stop leaning on our own understanding and instead trusted God to bring us together, for truly "His ways are not our ways." Without the power and presence of the Lord in our lives, we could have easily gotten all turned around and let the dogs out instead of letting God in.
If you are single and desiring a mate, don't be discouraged by the dog days of summer. God is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him. So, keep your eyes on Jesus, continue to wait on the Lord and...
BNcouraged!
Rev. Karen
A weekly posting of encouraging and challenging thoughts about life from Rev. Karen W. Curry, a pastor's wife and mother of two who is also --in her "spare time"-- a dynamic preacher, teacher, motivational speaker, facilitator, writer, reviewer, poet, MC, liturgical dance/drama consultant and storyteller. Contact Rev. Karen at BNcouraged247@msn.com to speak at your next service or retreat.
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Your Intention Directs Your Attention
"Pay attention!" Parents and teachers often direct those words to a child who is not tuned in to what is being said or what is going on around them.
Sometimes, the problem isn't actually about the child not being tuned in, but exactly what the child is tuned in to. The same is true with adults.
I once attended a training class with a former colleague who had begun daydreaming during the lecture. The instructor deliberately drew attention to my colleague's inattention by asking him a question. Of course, my colleague had no clue about what the classroom discussion had been about, as he had been busy daydreaming about saving the world--literally.
He was completely tuned out with regard to the lecture, but totally tuned in to the desperate needs of hurting people and was strategizing about how he could "come to the rescue." He simply had "more important" things on his mind and did not have time to spare listening to a lecture. Couldn't the instructor see that?!
Giving time and attention to someone or something is rarely an accidental occurence. Even if it occurs subconsciously, it usually stems from some intent. It is also often strategic. The things in life that draw our attention are a good measure of what's most important to us, and provide critical clues regarding our purpose and destiny.
What catches your eye? What captures your thoughts? What energizes you?
As a Christian, if your goal is to "bless the Lord at all times," and have His praise "continually be in [your] mouth," you will begin to see reasons all around you--great and small--to give God praise. You will find yourself praising Him for the sunshine and praising Him for the rain. A heart that intends to be thankful will turn its attention to counting many blessings, naming them one by one.
On the negative side, if you are determined to find fault with someone, your eye will always be drawn to their faults and shortcomings. Or, if your intention is to always find the easy way out and avoid hard work, your attention will be drawn to every perceived shortcut or every excuse for not being able to get the job done.
If some of us worked as hard at fulfilling our tasks as we do at finding excuses and following shortcuts, we might realize that what we have been trying to avoid was actually designed to make us stronger and wiser. We might also realize that the so-called "shortcuts" only create more work, especially when we have to backtrack to get on the right track where we should have started at first.
When we are ready to minimize the drama in our lives, we will stop turning our attention to Maury Povich and some of the other trash TV shows and remember that "He will keep in perfect peace those whose mind is stayed on Him," and start watching quality programming.
When we are tired of settling for Mr. or Ms. Right Now instead of Mr. or Ms. Right, we will turn our attention to God's definition of love and let Him guide our attention in the right direction.
When we begin to fully seek out God's intentions and plans for our lives, we will find that we have His full attention and a promise of joy and blessings beyond mention! So, stay prayed up and pay attention!
BNcouraged!
Rev. Karen
Sometimes, the problem isn't actually about the child not being tuned in, but exactly what the child is tuned in to. The same is true with adults.
I once attended a training class with a former colleague who had begun daydreaming during the lecture. The instructor deliberately drew attention to my colleague's inattention by asking him a question. Of course, my colleague had no clue about what the classroom discussion had been about, as he had been busy daydreaming about saving the world--literally.
He was completely tuned out with regard to the lecture, but totally tuned in to the desperate needs of hurting people and was strategizing about how he could "come to the rescue." He simply had "more important" things on his mind and did not have time to spare listening to a lecture. Couldn't the instructor see that?!
Giving time and attention to someone or something is rarely an accidental occurence. Even if it occurs subconsciously, it usually stems from some intent. It is also often strategic. The things in life that draw our attention are a good measure of what's most important to us, and provide critical clues regarding our purpose and destiny.
What catches your eye? What captures your thoughts? What energizes you?
As a Christian, if your goal is to "bless the Lord at all times," and have His praise "continually be in [your] mouth," you will begin to see reasons all around you--great and small--to give God praise. You will find yourself praising Him for the sunshine and praising Him for the rain. A heart that intends to be thankful will turn its attention to counting many blessings, naming them one by one.
On the negative side, if you are determined to find fault with someone, your eye will always be drawn to their faults and shortcomings. Or, if your intention is to always find the easy way out and avoid hard work, your attention will be drawn to every perceived shortcut or every excuse for not being able to get the job done.
If some of us worked as hard at fulfilling our tasks as we do at finding excuses and following shortcuts, we might realize that what we have been trying to avoid was actually designed to make us stronger and wiser. We might also realize that the so-called "shortcuts" only create more work, especially when we have to backtrack to get on the right track where we should have started at first.
When we are ready to minimize the drama in our lives, we will stop turning our attention to Maury Povich and some of the other trash TV shows and remember that "He will keep in perfect peace those whose mind is stayed on Him," and start watching quality programming.
When we are tired of settling for Mr. or Ms. Right Now instead of Mr. or Ms. Right, we will turn our attention to God's definition of love and let Him guide our attention in the right direction.
When we begin to fully seek out God's intentions and plans for our lives, we will find that we have His full attention and a promise of joy and blessings beyond mention! So, stay prayed up and pay attention!
BNcouraged!
Rev. Karen
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
"Textual" Misconduct
What an interesting week in politics!
On one hand a presidential "wannabe" blithely recast segments of historical text, essentially rewriting the account of Paul Revere's most famous ride, and on the other hand a congressman demonstrated gross misconduct of a textual nature by "tweeting" inappropriate photos of himself.
Not only did these two individuals demonstrate "textual indiscretions", but when asked about their actions both simply lied or denied any wrongdoing. After continued pressing, however, Congressman Weiner finally relented and admitted that he had not told the truth about the questionable text. We have yet to see former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin admit to her mistake. In fact, I don't recall EVER hearing Sarah Palin admit to any of the myriad mistakes and blunders she has uttered over the past two years.
It seems that if a congressman who had been literally caught with his pants down could relent and admit to something so eggregious as texting or "sexting" lewd photos, why can't Sarah Palin acknowledge mistakes and missteps that pale in comparison to what Weiner confessed to?
For someone who prides herself on being a Washington "outsider", Palin's tireless dancing and dodging around the truth have put her on par with the inside crowd.
God's Word directs us to "confess our faults, one to another." Perhaps that page was torn out of Mrs. Palin's bible. We all make mistakes -- "all have sinned and come short...." And, when we do mess up--not IF, but when--the mature, responsible way to handle mistakes is not to deny ever making them. Instead, we are to own up to our mistakes and do whatever it takes to correct them.
I'm not sure if she is receiving bad PR advice or if she is just behaving in rogue fashion, but smugly denying a mistake when the evidence clearly points to the contrary, or launching baseless accusations of "gotcha" journalism like a "get out of jail free" card, does not hide the fact that there are a lot of things about American history, government, international relations and other subjects that Sarah Palin just doesn't appear to know.
She once butchered a word in one of her tweets, and instead of admitting her mistake, boldly exclaimed, "Shakespeare made up words all the time." Perhaps he did. But Thou, Madame, art no Shakespeare. She even once touted something about Alaska's proximity to Russia as an indicator of her foreign policy experience. So close....but yet so far.
I normally try not to wade too deeply into politics, but I have sat silently on the sidelines watching this sad side-show long enough and, I'm sorry, I just had to speak out.
Friends, our American political system cannot continue to be treated like an open-ended reality show where honest notions like "anyone can grow up to be President" are distorted by a parade a pathetically arrogant and ignorant perpetrators playing a cruel joke. There is entirely too much at stake in the world today for us continue patronizing this parody of our political system.
I'm not saying Sarah Palin is the only political figure making mistakes, she has plenty of company on both sides of the aisle. We also know that politicans often waffle back and forth regarding their stance on various issues. But that's not the issue here.
The concern I have is Palin's outright, stubborn refusal to deal with reality, even when it is staring her in the face. Weiner tried that approach, but after a while, he had to yield to reality. Palin, however, will simply rewrite a story to suit her needs, tell it, retell it and essentially proclaim, "that's my story and I'm sticking with it."
Her constant, unbelievable denials are so extreme that they have become teachable moments for my children who see right through her false bravado. Her antics have provided a perfect object lesson to help my children understand that accepting responsibility for their mistakes will keep them from appearing (and being) foolish.
If you happen to be a Sarah Palin supporter, the best way to truly support her is to pray for her to stay grounded in reality. It does her more harm than good when people indiscriminately cheer her on when she makes painfully obvious mistakes that can be easily corrected. Someone needs to care enough about her to let her know that "the emperor has no clothes" -- or is that what someone should have been warning Congressman Weiner about?
BNcouraged!
Rev. Karen
On one hand a presidential "wannabe" blithely recast segments of historical text, essentially rewriting the account of Paul Revere's most famous ride, and on the other hand a congressman demonstrated gross misconduct of a textual nature by "tweeting" inappropriate photos of himself.
Not only did these two individuals demonstrate "textual indiscretions", but when asked about their actions both simply lied or denied any wrongdoing. After continued pressing, however, Congressman Weiner finally relented and admitted that he had not told the truth about the questionable text. We have yet to see former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin admit to her mistake. In fact, I don't recall EVER hearing Sarah Palin admit to any of the myriad mistakes and blunders she has uttered over the past two years.
It seems that if a congressman who had been literally caught with his pants down could relent and admit to something so eggregious as texting or "sexting" lewd photos, why can't Sarah Palin acknowledge mistakes and missteps that pale in comparison to what Weiner confessed to?
For someone who prides herself on being a Washington "outsider", Palin's tireless dancing and dodging around the truth have put her on par with the inside crowd.
God's Word directs us to "confess our faults, one to another." Perhaps that page was torn out of Mrs. Palin's bible. We all make mistakes -- "all have sinned and come short...." And, when we do mess up--not IF, but when--the mature, responsible way to handle mistakes is not to deny ever making them. Instead, we are to own up to our mistakes and do whatever it takes to correct them.
I'm not sure if she is receiving bad PR advice or if she is just behaving in rogue fashion, but smugly denying a mistake when the evidence clearly points to the contrary, or launching baseless accusations of "gotcha" journalism like a "get out of jail free" card, does not hide the fact that there are a lot of things about American history, government, international relations and other subjects that Sarah Palin just doesn't appear to know.
She once butchered a word in one of her tweets, and instead of admitting her mistake, boldly exclaimed, "Shakespeare made up words all the time." Perhaps he did. But Thou, Madame, art no Shakespeare. She even once touted something about Alaska's proximity to Russia as an indicator of her foreign policy experience. So close....but yet so far.
I normally try not to wade too deeply into politics, but I have sat silently on the sidelines watching this sad side-show long enough and, I'm sorry, I just had to speak out.
Friends, our American political system cannot continue to be treated like an open-ended reality show where honest notions like "anyone can grow up to be President" are distorted by a parade a pathetically arrogant and ignorant perpetrators playing a cruel joke. There is entirely too much at stake in the world today for us continue patronizing this parody of our political system.
I'm not saying Sarah Palin is the only political figure making mistakes, she has plenty of company on both sides of the aisle. We also know that politicans often waffle back and forth regarding their stance on various issues. But that's not the issue here.
The concern I have is Palin's outright, stubborn refusal to deal with reality, even when it is staring her in the face. Weiner tried that approach, but after a while, he had to yield to reality. Palin, however, will simply rewrite a story to suit her needs, tell it, retell it and essentially proclaim, "that's my story and I'm sticking with it."
Her constant, unbelievable denials are so extreme that they have become teachable moments for my children who see right through her false bravado. Her antics have provided a perfect object lesson to help my children understand that accepting responsibility for their mistakes will keep them from appearing (and being) foolish.
If you happen to be a Sarah Palin supporter, the best way to truly support her is to pray for her to stay grounded in reality. It does her more harm than good when people indiscriminately cheer her on when she makes painfully obvious mistakes that can be easily corrected. Someone needs to care enough about her to let her know that "the emperor has no clothes" -- or is that what someone should have been warning Congressman Weiner about?
BNcouraged!
Rev. Karen
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Casting Call
Aspiring actors often spend their days responding to casting calls, hoping to one day answer a call that leads to THE role of a lifetime--a breakout role that establishes him or her as a bonafide, "A-list" actor.
While actors strive daily to perfect their ability to imitate life through art, God calls us daily to experience the art of life. One way we can truly experience the art and beauty of the lives God has given us is to acknowledge and respond to God's "casting call" -- a call for us to start "casting [our] cares upon Him, for He cares for us." (1 Peter 5:7)
There is nothing that we experience in this life that catches God by surprise, nor is there any challenge that God has not already provided a solution for. The problem is usually not the problem itself, but how we respond to the problem.
When we take matters into our own hands, we lean on our own understanding instead of acknowledging God in all our ways so that He can direct our paths.
No matter how smart we are, we can never match God's omniscience, or power and ability to know all. No matter how swiftly we can appear on the scene or rush to the rescue, we are not omnipresent like God, who is able to be anywhere and everywhere simultaneously. No matter how strong we are, we will never have the omnipotence of God's unparalleled power.
So, why do we insist on holding on to problems, pains and predicaments when God says we are to cast our cares upon Him? Some of us will initially cast them, but quickly lose patience and start reeling those problems right back in, often dragging with them an extra barnacle or two.
Some things in life just aren't worth holding on to. Even if we find ourselves in an argument in which we are indisputably "right," what trophies are we going to win for fighting tooth and nail to prove our point? Sure, God calls us to take a stand on certain issues, but every disagreement is not an occasion to pull out the heavy artillery and shell shock our friends and family just because we don't agree on a certain issue.
When we finally learn to take God at His word and cast our cares upon Him, we can begin to see life through new eyes. We will especially see Jesus' sacrifice at Calvary through new eyes, for indeed, Jesus bore all of our inquities and cares on the cross long ago. He is more than qualified to handle any care that we can cast upon Him today or tomorrow.
Through Jesus' crucifixion and resurrection we have been set free from the power, presence and penalty of sin. So, when we see it creeping around our door, we don't have to answer. When life's problems start harrassing us and knocking incessantly on our door, we can always say, "Jesus, I think that's for You" and let Him answer.
When we remember that our times are in God's hands, we can breathe a little easier because we know that our problems do not have the last word. We can also breathe a sigh of relief once we understand that the role in which we are cast in the drama of life is not the lead--that role has already been taken by the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. We are all extras and supporting actors who will finally earn the ultimate "breakout role" when we are with the Lord in glory.
BNcouraged!
Rev. Karen
While actors strive daily to perfect their ability to imitate life through art, God calls us daily to experience the art of life. One way we can truly experience the art and beauty of the lives God has given us is to acknowledge and respond to God's "casting call" -- a call for us to start "casting [our] cares upon Him, for He cares for us." (1 Peter 5:7)
There is nothing that we experience in this life that catches God by surprise, nor is there any challenge that God has not already provided a solution for. The problem is usually not the problem itself, but how we respond to the problem.
When we take matters into our own hands, we lean on our own understanding instead of acknowledging God in all our ways so that He can direct our paths.
No matter how smart we are, we can never match God's omniscience, or power and ability to know all. No matter how swiftly we can appear on the scene or rush to the rescue, we are not omnipresent like God, who is able to be anywhere and everywhere simultaneously. No matter how strong we are, we will never have the omnipotence of God's unparalleled power.
So, why do we insist on holding on to problems, pains and predicaments when God says we are to cast our cares upon Him? Some of us will initially cast them, but quickly lose patience and start reeling those problems right back in, often dragging with them an extra barnacle or two.
Some things in life just aren't worth holding on to. Even if we find ourselves in an argument in which we are indisputably "right," what trophies are we going to win for fighting tooth and nail to prove our point? Sure, God calls us to take a stand on certain issues, but every disagreement is not an occasion to pull out the heavy artillery and shell shock our friends and family just because we don't agree on a certain issue.
When we finally learn to take God at His word and cast our cares upon Him, we can begin to see life through new eyes. We will especially see Jesus' sacrifice at Calvary through new eyes, for indeed, Jesus bore all of our inquities and cares on the cross long ago. He is more than qualified to handle any care that we can cast upon Him today or tomorrow.
Through Jesus' crucifixion and resurrection we have been set free from the power, presence and penalty of sin. So, when we see it creeping around our door, we don't have to answer. When life's problems start harrassing us and knocking incessantly on our door, we can always say, "Jesus, I think that's for You" and let Him answer.
When we remember that our times are in God's hands, we can breathe a little easier because we know that our problems do not have the last word. We can also breathe a sigh of relief once we understand that the role in which we are cast in the drama of life is not the lead--that role has already been taken by the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. We are all extras and supporting actors who will finally earn the ultimate "breakout role" when we are with the Lord in glory.
BNcouraged!
Rev. Karen
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