Reality Check

"Can you spare the change?"

That phrase was uttered regularly by a man who used to hang around outside of the office building where I worked years ago. It's a phrase many of us who work in the city are accustomed to hearing. The only difference is that this gentleman is what I call a "BWA"-- beggar with attitude. He would begin by asking "can anyone spare the change?" If he got no immediate response, he would raise his voice and select the nearest individual to stare down and and forcefully inquire, "Mam! (Sir!) can YOU spare the change?!" After that, he would throw his hands in the air and yell out to no one in particular, "Can ANYone spare the change?!!!"

His efforts were not very successful.

Why? Probably because his attitude scared away or turned off many would-be supporters. You might say that people should have looked past his attitude and focused on his need. Perhaps. But, let's be real about it. How often have you been so turned off by someone's attitude that you simply turned off your attention to them?

Sometimes, we don't want to believe that our attitudes influence others' responses to us. As parents, some of us are quick to claim that our child's bad grade is the result of a teacher who "just doesn't like our child." The reality might actually be that our weak (or non-existent) approach to discipline, lax attitude about getting our child to school on time, negative comments about the school, etc. might have worked their way into the child's mind and showed up in the form of the child disrespecting the teacher or not following instructions as closely as they would if a positive, respectful attitude was modeled and encouraged.

On the job, we sometimes get jealous about someone else who gets ahead for what we call "brown nosing." In fact, he or she may have simply recognized that "you have to get along to get ahead" while we mumble and grumble with an air of negativity and an entitlement mentality that we are owed something just for hanging around a long time.

In the book of Romans, the first chapter, Paul refers to those who "exchange the truth of God for a lie." If we stop from time to time to take a reality check, we might find that, while we know that we are often are own worst enemy, we would rather believe the lie that our challenges are everyone else's fault.

"I'm this way because my mother did this..." or "I'm this way because my father didn't do that..." While it's true we are all products of our upbringing and environment, we are all new creations through Christ Jesus. A reality check forces us to not just superficially exclaim our woundedness and inadequacies but to fully expose them to the light of Christ so that we can be more like Him. We sometimes cling to our shortcomings as badges of honor, "You know I have a temper...." instead of going further to say, "...and I wonder how much it has cost me in lost opportunities and wounded friendships?"

As we continue in the season of Lent when we fast and give up things for our own (and the greater) good, maybe now is a good time to do a reality check on our attitudes and give up any attitude that is not Christlike--anything from being aloof, to arrogant, to overly critical, to pessimistic, to just generally negative and grumpy.

In these hard times, it's understandable that we might sometimes feel burdened or frustrated. It's also true that there are actually bad teachers, people who get promoted unfairly, and so on. Those situations, however, do not justify us becoming BWAs, expecting everyone (including God) to just turn a blind eye to how we behave and treat others. The golden rule of "do unto others as you would have them do unto you" still applies. And, for clarification, it's not "do unto others what they do to you" or "do unto others before they do unto you."

When we are out of sorts or simply out of order, let's be open to allowing God to show us "a more excellent way" so that we can conform to God's truth about life and our place in it-- a reality check we can truly bank on.

BNcouraged!

Rev. Karen